Over Thanksgiving weekend, I became a Bat Mitzvah at 38 years old. I am one of those secular Jews from New York who was Jewish by birth and by observance of the "big" holidays (Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Chanukah and Passover), but not by my connection to Jewish history, rituals or a community. It wasn't until my children were in day care at the JCCS that I learned about Shabbat and holidays like Sukkot and Tu B'shevat. It wasn't until my oldest son began preschool five and a half years ago at B'nai Israel that I became a Jew and found a spiritual home and community.

My spiritual wanderings have been broad and varied over the past twenty years as I struggled to find a deeper meaning to my life and to connect with some undefined notion of God. Any religion or spiritual tradition (mostly "New Age") intrigued me. I read, learned, meditated, practiced yoga and even began to pray on a daily basis. I worked for three different Catholic organizations over the years and marveled at people's knowledge of religion, belief in God, and participation in their religious organizations. I longed for the same experience that I imagined others had - certainty, passion and connection to God, tradition and community.

We all find our own ways to connect to B'nai Israel - whether it is through our children or life cycle events, through friends or clergy, through the staff or services, or through the wonderful family programs and many learning opportunities for people of all ages. My journey here began with the wonderful people I met at the preschool. I felt comfortable and welcomed - this was my new home, my new family. But my spiritual longings and ignorance of Judaism led me to seek more from B'nai Israel.

I met with Rabbi Prosnit to point me in new directions through books and educational/ spiritual programs offered at the synagogue. I read many of the books he proposed and found others that sparked my interest. Rabbi Prosnit encouraged me to find my own version of Judaism by looking at the many different "Jewish" thoughts on God. His spiritual guidance gave me encouragement, encouragement that I would be able to learn and explore Judaism without pressure to believe and do one thing. I realized that I could look for and connect with Judaism in my own way and at my own pace.

This openness and acceptance gave me permission to admit my ignorance and begin to ask questions - to begin to learn. Rabbi Prosnit recommended Rosh Chodesh (the monthly women's spirituality group) and Torah study with Elaine Chetrit. But it wasn't until I met people who participated in these activities that I finally had the courage to attend. Not only did I learn a lot, but I met amazing people of all generations. We shared incredible spiritual experiences and meaningful discussions related and unrelated to Judaism and God. I found others searching and questioning, others with similar and different experiences/ beliefs, and others from whom to learn. I was fortunate to share my experience of becoming a Bat Mitzvah with three other wonderful people (Karen Montagna, Stephen Verbil and Suzanne Kahn) whom I would never have met if it were not for this opportunity to learn together.

Over the past few years, I've become more connected to B'nai Israel as I've begun to look for ways to contribute rather than take from my spiritual home. Although my learning continues to be a priority and my spiritual wanderings are more focused on Judaism (but still supplemented by other spiritual practices and teachings), I try to focus more of my time at B'nai Israel on activities that enhance the experience of others in our community. I feel a greater sense of connection when I make time to volunteer for Family Education programs, the school Book Fair, the Synaplex Committee and play my clarinet at services.

It isn't always easy with the competing demands of our everyday lives but I have come to know that our involvement is important to the vitality of our synagogue - to our spiritual home and health. It is important to feel like we're doing and getting more than just for ourselves. The sum of the parts is truly greater than the whole when we see B'nai Israel as more than being about ourselves and our family in a particular point in time. It is bigger than me or you - it is about sustaining and nurturing this "home" for everyone - young and old - past, present and future.

We are fortunate to have staff, clergy and leaders that encourage and depend upon participation and volunteerism from within. They see the value and uniqueness we bring to our community and invite us to bring our gifts. Our monetary gifts are a fraction of the value of our active participation, concern and nurturance of our community and spiritual home. Like any strong relationship, the quality of what you get depends on what you give. And like any family, we expect our spiritual family to be there for us through happy and sad times. It's our choice to create more good experiences, to be more involved, to make a stronger connection to everything B'nai Israel and our spiritual home has to offer. We need to contribute our gifts to sustain and vitalize our community.

As I reflect on the celebration of becoming a Bat Mitzvah, I am reminded of my blessings and the gratitude I feel for having found B'nai Israel as a place for my spiritual growth, explorations and learning. I am reminded of the joy I experience in being part of a community of caring, connected, and diverse people. I am reminded of the depth, understanding and certainty I have found by connecting with Judaism and its history, rituals and teachings. I share this with you all because the potential is there for any and all of us to find a "home" in B'nai Israel whether it be for social, spiritual, religious or other reasons. Don't be afraid to look for what you need from B'nai Israel, to ask questions, to take a chance by going to a study group or a class. I did. And I found a place that brings me a sense of connectedness and meaning that I have never felt before. There truly is something here for everyone.